Dear USPS, do you like me? Circle Y or N.

by Caroline

Things you never think you’ll do: Espouse the good works of the United States Postal Service.

Sure, FedEx and UPS do fast-turnover deliveries and do them well for the most part, but they cost an unreasonable amount for your average Joe or Jane who doesn’t care about the time frame. Paying $15 to ship a couple of volumes of Time Life’s Mysteries of the Unknown that cost 50¢ each at East Dundee’s Community Thrift Store defeats the purpose of the gesture.

I shipped three parcels — 1.2 pounds to Beloit, Wisconsin; 4.3 pounds to Minneapolis, Minnesota; and 3.7 pounds to Fairbanks, Alaska (“Honey, you sure? That’s gonna take twelve business days!”) — for a grand total of $11.08. FedEx’s cheapest rates combine to over $50. Plus, the post office lady had some bodacious acrylic nails.

Moreover . . .
The new Love stamp doesn’t make me hurl,
The Simpsons are on their own stamp series, and
The beautiful Abraham Lincoln stamp series is still available.

Good on you, USPS. I’m not holding my breath for this to continue.

Unnecessary side note: Did you know that some kinds of biodegradable packing peanuts are edible? This is not an endorsement, merely a trivium.

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Way back:
  • The Beatles – Yesterday
  • The Postal Service – We Will Become Silhouettes
  • Death Cab for Cutie – No Sunlight
  • Titus Andronicus – A Pot in Which to Piss
  • The Section Quartet – Such Great Heights