Mar
31
World’s least-effective insult
March 31, 2009 | 1 Comment
For some reason, one of my old posts draws every single attempted spam for this entire blog. It must have the secret keyword or something.
Anyway, one today had a hilarious phrase which caught my eye:
“You succulent children.”
Mar
31
Squaresville
March 31, 2009 | 2 Comments
I just purchased legal mp3s from the internet.
Mar
30
Papa Stronsay
March 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment
A tiny island nation, in a sense.
North of the Scottish mainland lies the archipelago Orkney, a council area comprised of many islands, most of which are uninhabited. The history of these islands goes back longer than is fathomable to my American mindset, including an eighth-century chapel and an eleventh-century chapel built over that.
The island of Papa Stronsay was abandoned by herring fishers in the 1970s after their curing business dried up. And, in a curious, marvelous, and resourceful twist of fate, a Catholic order purchased the island and made it their home: Transalpine Redemptorists at home.
They farm potatoes and care for the island along with their studies and duties. Browsing this blog has delighted me.
Mar
29
Representative anecdote
March 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment
You moved far away several months ago and, sometime since then, I bought something for you at a thrift store, the perfect thing. I expressed a desire to mail it, which led to a weekslong process while you waited to establish a P.O. box, since your physical address could not receive mail.
Once I got that P.O. box number, it took me a few weeks to get to the post office, mostly because I didn’t know where the nearest one was. I told you I finally mailed it. Several days later, a frenetic Facebook message saying you’d given me the wrong number. Later that same day, a phone call. The caller I.D. lists the state where you used to live.
“I sent you a Facebook message,” you said.
“Oh?” I said, though I’d read it already.
“I thought I gave you the wrong number for my P.O. box but I was wrong about being wrong, I’m pretty sure.”
“You’re pretty sure?” I said.
“Yeah, the one I gave you the first time was right.”
“So I should disregard this message, is what you’re saying?” I said.
“Yeah. Listen, I gotta go. All my love,” you said.
“Yes, yes. Take care of yourself,” I said.
Mar
26
Influenzal
March 26, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Friends, I have had a terrible cold for going on a week now. In case you ever wondered how it felt to be on NyQuil for six days in a row, the answer is: Exactly how you imagine. Like a high schooler after a Thunderbird bender.
Speaking of bum wine, did you know Mad Dog is actually Mogen David?? Hilarious. I’ve only ever tried Manishewitz, which tastes like Welch’s Concord Grape Jelly thinned with vinegar. Once at a weird college seder my delightful (and, contrary to this story, brilliant) friend Maxy accidentally spit it all over himself as his chair fell over backward onto the floor.
Mar
23
Arcadian, bucolic, campestral, oh my!
March 23, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Passive-aggressive Notes always offers a wealth of badly written (or vibrantly decorated!) vitriol, but a recent post sparked some bile in me. Sore spot, anyone?
Check it out: Oh, the rancher and the McMansioner should be friends!
Someone called the sheriff about a local rancher and said his cattle looked malnourished, probably because, as the rancher points out, cattle are bony looking. Man, they’re some of the funniest animals out there, mostly because we’ve malappropriated them for a purpose they never intended to serve.
But anyway, I can’t help but imagine the people making these ASPCA “The cows are too skinny!” calls are not the agrarian type. I don’t tell engineers what to do, tell my lawyer how to make a case, or demand a certain diagnosis from my doctor. In what universe would it be in a rancher’s best interest to underfeed cattle? And what does this well-meaning suburban castoff think would happen if the cattle were malnourished — an instant humanitarian intervention? Come on.
As the suburbs become exurbs and branch further into rural America, this is destined to happen ad nauseam. I’m not even sure why it bothers me so much, except that I feel a certain kinship to the farmlands from having lived there for so long: I don’t love rural life, but I at least understand what I don’t love. It’s a spin on the “Only I can make fun of my own family” feeling.
Mar
21
Ginger oatmeal cupcakes: The sequel
March 21, 2009 | 2 Comments
So after a dayslong debate process, Thomas made a batch of my ginger oatmeal cupcakes (recipe here) using a tin of ground cloves whose expiration date was 25 years ago.
Thomas reports that “nobody got sick and died from eating them.” A succes fou for sure!
Mar
19
10 worst movies I’ve sat through
March 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment
In no order other than as I remember. It turns out there are 11.
1. Caligula
2. Kids
3. Austin Powers 2 (twice . . . in theaters. Stupid social life.)
4. Lions for Lambs
5. The Arrival
6. Coffee and Cigarettes
7. X3
8. Road Trip
9. Striptease
10. About Last Night
11. Journey to the Center of the Earth (remake)
Mar
18
March 18 Nonsequitur
March 18, 2009 | Leave a Comment
I finally found my cookie sheet: it was in the freezer.
Mar
18
March 18 Miscellany
March 18, 2009 | Leave a Comment
• A reader’s email forms this moving, candid Andrew Sullivan post:
One of my friends actually hosted us at a nice dinner (that they probably couldn’t afford), presumably to get us liquored and then to ask to borrow money. I didn’t and now he blames me as much as anything for them having to go into bankruptcy. I can see it in his eyes when he talks to me.
• Robert Hariman studies two U.K. press photos of the Middle East and contrasts them with the U.S. press:
In this photo, there is no Arab street nor Iranian masses dominated by Mullahs and demagogues. A middle class tableau reveals that so much of what is in fact ordinary life for many people in Iran and elsewhere in the Middle East is never seen in the US.
In a way, this echoes Marjane Satrapi‘s intent with her graphic novel (and then movie) Persepolis. Regular everyday life is never as exciting or intense as we sometimes imagine, even in historically war-torn regions.
• Adora Calcium‘s 30-calorie chocolate supplements have only the slightest metallic taste. Whole Foods gave out free samples this morning and I was pleasantly surprised, especially because the dark chocolate version contains no dairy, and the supplements are all vegetarian-friendly.
• Ravenswood Used Books, where have you been all my life? This claustrophobic wonder had more books than I could handle and at reasonable prices. It’s local, independent, and totally insane on the inside, definitely a place to experience as well as patronize. Also, owner Jim Mall’s blog (where that link leads) is a delight:
On an unrelated note, we are going to install a trap door under the floor of the poetry section. This will lead to the basement alligator pond. The trip wire will be triggered arbitrarily, ensnaring the beautiful as well as the damned.
The poetry section is where I found a great volume of Edna St Vincent Millay’s letters and two Everyman editions of medieval texts.* Be still my heart!
* A modern translation of Piers Plowman and a modern prose translation of du Troyes’ four Arthurian epic poems! I know, you’re already sorry you skipped down to this.