OF A GOLDEN AGE

The following Gchat exchange contains adult language.

ME: oh and shockingly whites in the south are showing stupid low support for obama, the least support since MCGOVERN
FRIEND: lol
ME: racist christianist f—s
FRIEND: butthurt hillary-supporting racists for john mccain

Martin alerted me to the Gmail Labs’ “Mail Goggles” feature, wherein you have to answer math questions in order to confirm that you wish to send a message. Think of it as the “touch your nose” or “walk the straight line” test of drunken emailing. Of course, I like it because I like math. Big dork.

If you use Gmail though, there are myriad features in the Labs that you can use at any time. They range from aesthetics to organization, and then wholly random sanity-savers like “Take a Break,” which locks you out for 15 minutes and tells you to go take a walk or something.

Ta-Nehisi Coates over at the Atlantic makes this, um, pugilistic point:

Electoral politics are about showing and proving–no amount of Affirmative Action can get you to the presidency. You have to compete and win. If you’re the sort of voter who shows up at one of these dead-end rallies, who likely believes that Obama never deserved the hype he got, that he was only a big deal because he was the “black guy,” then, yeah, you are liable to be stunned when he Buster Douglasses that ass.

Coates evokes the great upsetter “Buster” Douglas who all kinds of kicked Mike Tyson’s ass and topped the presumed master. Of course, Tyson never fell back into ageist mudslinging, since most people in the world understand that youth, energy, enthusiasm, and creative ingenuity are good things, especially coming from a man with the varied background (and pronounced lack of McCain Silver SpoonTM) of Barack Obama.

In what universe is McCain’s oldness, not to mention his rudeness, any kind of asset? Considering McCain’s always been a hothead, going so far as to call his ice-princess robot wife a cunt in the public eye (three reporters witnessed this but the McCains now deny it), I don’t see this meanspirited, stubborn jerk as any kind of asset to anyone.

And now more than ever, the McCain campaign’s escalating smarminess and xenophobia is whipping ignorant, underinformed voters into a frenzy that might turn violent. In an earlier post, Coates gives voice to the fear plaguing many liberals AND conservatives right now: the question of Obama’s personal safety.

A handful of supporters at McCain rallies now shout violent threats and epithets, conjuring the French Revolution more than a free election in our very public democracy. Andrew Sullivan brings us this video of one extremely vocal ignoramus. Once again, the comedy and tragedy are back to back, cut from the same cloth. That cloth being, of course, white and American made.

And finally this, from Simpsons writer Daniel Chun:

If John McCain wins after what we’ve been through these last eight years, we’d be telling the entire world that we’re perfectly content with being hated and ridiculed. We’d be Pam Anderson who dumps Tommy Lee, complains about wanting to find a nice guy, and starts dating Kid Rock.

Couldn’a put it better myself. (Chun has his own Wikipedia entry.)

Partway through another round of Hangman-via-instant-messenger today at work, my colleague said, “Are you anticipating my guesses and avoiding those letters? You sly minx.”

So here are some words that pretty much stumped his shit for a good few minutes. I got generous with the hangman’s arms, legs, hands, feet, extra arms, shoes, and so on.

• poisonous
• cacophony
• anthropomorphic
• circumflex
• ampersand

Yesterday I rode the train downtown and noticed at some point that my car was dotted with U.S. Cellular ads. “We think your phone should work everywhere you are, even on the El,” the ad proclaimed. “If your phone got reception here, you could call the people who made these ads.” It listed a toll-free number.

I pulled out my U.S. Cellular phone and . . . no service.

While I had a customer on hold, she hung up. I imed my colleague to let him know he should call off the search for the equipment she wanted. He called me on intraoffice phone.

Colleague: What did you say with your foul mouth that made her hang up?
Caroline: Nothing! I resent that!
Colleague: You represent that.
Caroline: Ohhh, good one.

I see what you did there.