(part one in an ongoing series)

Sam and I were talking today about the prevalent American baseball metaphor for sex: first base making out, second base above-the-waist, third base oral sex, and home being intercourse. Sam pointed out that gay men have a different paradigm — hand jobs are kind of a . . . shortstop for straights, but a solid second base for gays — and he also came up with an ingenious update:

“In fairness there should be something like: making out is just throwing the ball around, first base is hand jobs, and second base is oral. Third is fucking, and home plate is breakfast. But that’s oddly cynical and sentimental . . . “

I like it. It’s sweet and sardonic all at once.

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