Co-rumination
by Caroline“MOST teenage girls love to talk to their friends. And talk. And talk.”
Somehow I lucked out and have female friends who don’t live on the phone, because I’m not sure I could take that kind of constant contact. At the same time, in late grade school and junior high I was one of these for sure, always on the phone gossiping or fretting about whatever, always having sleepovers. In no time since have I spent so much one-on-one time with any of my friends. (Thankful for that!)
This article connected with me, though, through the idea of co-rumination — the idea that talking uninterruptedly about everyone’s anxieties and neuroses only makes them all that much worse. I wish the concept stopped being relevant after high school, but as I learned talking to my best ladyfriend last night, this is not the case. We’ve even reached the point where sometimes, not participating in melodrama and gossip can cause more, which breaks my brain every time.
The bottom line is, I’d rather people know me for my straightforwardness than be timid or passive aggressive. It’s also sad that teenage girls are socialized to behave this way, but if you read the article you’ll see that when teenage boys engage in co-rumination it doesn’t make their anxieties worse — probably because it’s more measured and less frequent? Not sure.
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